D — Depression.
I’ve been depressed, I’ve been heartbroken, I’ve been ignored and left and made miserable by the ones who, the most of all, promised to never hurt me. There were times when my heart couldn’t stop hurting, when I was crying for hours in the shower so that nobody could hear me, when I had insomnia and in the morning had to put tons of make-up to hide my dark circles before going to work, when I had to smile to people and pretend that I’m fine so that there are no questions asked, when I was running away from my pain by constantly surrounding myself with people who wouldn’t even stand a chance to understand what I was feeling, and not because they didn’t care, but because I just wouldn’t allow myself to reveal it.
From my own experience, I can say, It’s a dark place to be in. And I am proud I have successfully passed every single moment and they made me who I am today, stronger than ever. But there are so many among us doing this every day, running away from our feelings, hiding them from the people who love us the most only because we are afraid to not be understood or even heard. However, the more people hide it, the deeper it goes, and after some time, when it becomes too much to live with, you only hear stories from their friends saying: “she was such a happy person, it must be a mistake,” he was always smiling and going out with us, I didn’t expect him to commit suicide.”
Just look closer at those stars who looked like they had the world at their feet, such as Marilyn Monroe, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams and so on. They had everything to be happy, you would say. But did it really matter to them? No. They were smiling and filming in comedies and faking happiness to the most professional extent, and nobody understood what was lying behind that fake lips movement called smile. The only way to help someone is to listen. Listen carefully and observe. Ask and double ask to make sure the people you care about are actually in a good state of mind and not just pretending to be while slowly dying on the inside. Let’s care more about each other. And let’s not allow each other to get lost in the dark place called depression.
